Did I mention I'm obsessive compulsive?
Sister, Janey, got a new bloke and thus became co-owner of an Ab Circle Pro. Best not to think about the new beau soaking up the day-time TV and ordering one, but there you go.
Jane's verdict? It works, she says. Never mind that it's too big for her bedroom and that while she's swinging her arse in time to music she's got her face pressed up amongst the shirts dangling in her open wardrobe.
Jane and I are both secondary English teachers. Apart from that, we're 'sympatico'; two different sides of a coin. We're often doing exactly the same thing at the same time, albeit with a time difference, depending on daylight saving. See, she's in the Top End. I'm in Melbourne.
Anyway, I'm having what she's having. Not a new bloke. An Ab Circle Pro. Ever since she mentioned it, I was obsessed.
I'd seen the Ab Circle Pro in operation on daytime TV with those impossibly built models and teeth making it look effortless. As if, I'd thought.
But Jane's got the same Rubenesque build as me. If it was working for her, there was a chance for me to reduce my muffin-tops.
Got onto Ebay and actually got involved in the bidding for a machine that started at $40. Was outbid on that, but enjoyed the little frisson of excitement that comes with being a contender. The happy winner picked it up for $170.
Meanwhile, I told myself not to be so ridiculous and did a few more squats against the wall with the exercise ball.
But I couldn't get that adjectival Ab Circle Pro out of my mind.
Next week saw me trawling the gumtree.com.au site where I found one locally for $140. Tentatively sent off an email to see if was still available, the ad having been posted more than a month earlier. 'Yes, my firend (sic)!' came the reply.
Let it go for about another week. Told myself it was a complete waste of money. Checked out a few mixed on-line reviews. Some raved; others complained of bits falling off and sore knees. Hoped the bits were falling off the machine and not them.
Finally, I thought 140 bucks was a small price to pay to get over myself.
Bought the machine from an Asian man around the corner. It was still in its original packing. The box had never been opened.
"Why you no use?" I asked. Forgive me, but I instinctively go into this patois when I meet someone who doesn't speak English. It's easier.
"I buy for my wife, but he too lazy; he no want."
"I want look like this!" I said. He'd opened the box and passed me the DVD. I indicated the bronzed bikini clad porn star on the front. Haha. Well, I thought it was funny - and BTW, it ain't gonna happen.
So, all done at $140!
And then Al had to assemble it. Ikea style, there were a couple of parts left over. Perhaps that's why the pin kept lifting out while I was mid-swing, causing me to inadvertently do the splits? Nothing that a thick rubber band couldn't fix. Not me; the central locking pin.
So far, a few intense workouts later, I'm quite enjoying the ride. All helps with the fitness, but I'm still Rubenesque.