Ab Circle Pro update

My Ab Circle Pro is a feature in my living room. I'm used to it now, so much so that when I visited a friend who has her own ACP obsession - keeps her ACP in her lounge - I didn't even remark on it. Along with the comfy chairs and television, the ACP seemed to be in its rightful place.

In my case this isn't testament to my regular workouts. In fact, my ACP would be gathering dust except for the efforts of my housekeeper. She treats it like everything else in my house, including apples in the fruit bowl. She polishes it weekly.

I didn't reject my Ab Circle Pro. The opposite. It rejected me. Sorry, that's not quite right. It ejected me; spat me off.

This happened one ordinary Saturday morning. Al and I were home alone. He was in the shower; I was in tee-shirt and knickers, assuming the position on the ACP for a few intense arse swinging moments.

So, head up, back straight, working those abs then WHUMP! I'm splayed painfully across the machine. My right knee had somehow lost purchase on its knee pad thus upsetting the entire apple cart: me.

I whimpered a little. Al strolled in drying one ear with a towel. Wanted to see what the crash was. He raised his eyebrows and strolled back in the direction from whence he'd come. He'd had his inward chuckle at the beknickered idiot hanging off the side of the contraption.

I gathered myself up and pushed the machine back into position by the armchair.

That was at least three months ago.

They say you should get straight back on the bike if you fall off. I've done this a couple of times in my life, even after someone ran me over back in the day. But that's my bike. I actually still get a buzz out of cycling.

Get straight back on the ACP? Nah. It's not as much 'fun' as the adverts would have you believe. And pity my second hand machine didn't come with a guarantee. Discovered a couple of days ago that part of the knee pad that had rejected me so spectacularly had actually split.

My Ab Circle Pro is going for a ride to the tip come the next hard rubbish collection. Dare say she might find a few of her fellow rejects there.

Me and Ab Circle Pro

Did I mention I'm obsessive compulsive?

Sister, Janey, got a new bloke and thus became co-owner of an Ab Circle Pro.  Best not to think about the new beau soaking up the day-time TV and ordering one, but there you go.

Jane's verdict? It works, she says. Never mind that it's too big for her bedroom and that while she's swinging her arse in time to music she's got her face pressed up amongst the shirts dangling in her open wardrobe.

Jane and I are both secondary English teachers. Apart from that, we're 'sympatico'; two different sides of a coin.  We're often doing exactly the same thing at the same time, albeit with a time difference, depending on daylight saving.  See, she's in the Top End.  I'm in Melbourne.

Anyway, I'm having what she's having. Not a new bloke. An Ab Circle Pro.  Ever since she mentioned it, I was obsessed.

I'd seen the Ab Circle Pro in operation on daytime TV with those impossibly built models and teeth making it look effortless.  As if, I'd thought.

But Jane's got the same Rubenesque build as me.  If it was working for her, there was a chance for me to reduce my muffin-tops.

Got onto Ebay and actually got involved in the bidding for a machine that started at $40.  Was outbid on that, but enjoyed the little frisson of excitement that comes with being a contender.  The happy winner picked it up for $170.

Meanwhile, I told myself not to be so ridiculous and did a few more squats against the wall with the exercise ball.

But I couldn't get that adjectival Ab Circle Pro out of my mind.

Next week saw me trawling the gumtree.com.au site where I found one locally for $140.  Tentatively sent off an email to see if was still available, the ad having been posted more than a month earlier.  'Yes, my firend (sic)!' came the reply.

Let it go for about another week. Told myself it was a complete waste of money.  Checked out a few mixed on-line reviews. Some raved; others complained of bits falling off and sore knees.  Hoped the bits were falling off the machine and not them.

Finally, I thought 140 bucks was a small price to pay to get over myself.

Bought the machine from an Asian man around the corner.  It was still in its original packing.  The box had never been opened.

"Why you no use?" I asked.  Forgive me, but I instinctively go into this patois when I meet someone who doesn't speak English. It's easier.

"I buy for my wife, but he too lazy; he no want."

"I want look like this!" I said.  He'd opened the box and passed me the DVD.  I indicated the bronzed bikini clad porn star on the front. Haha.  Well, I thought it was funny - and BTW, it ain't gonna happen.

So, all done at $140!

And then Al had to assemble it.  Ikea style, there were a couple of parts left over.  Perhaps that's why the pin kept lifting out while I was mid-swing, causing me to inadvertently do the splits?  Nothing that a thick rubber band couldn't fix.  Not me; the central locking pin.

So far, a few intense workouts later, I'm quite enjoying the ride. All helps with the fitness, but I'm still Rubenesque.